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Coping skills get a lot of praise. And to be clear, they’re not useless.

They can help you get through a hard moment. Calm your body enough to function. Take the edge off when things feel overwhelming.

Most people who identify as people pleasers aren’t trying to be liked. They’re trying to avoid tension.

They’re the ones who read the room quickly. Who anticipate needs. Who smooth things over before conflict has a chance to show up. It often looks like kindness or flexibility from the outside.

On the inside, it’s usually something else.

A lot of the people I work with don’t look burned out at first glance.

They show up. They meet deadlines. They’re reliable. They’re often the ones others lean on. From the outside, it looks like they’re managing just fine.

Inside, it’s a different story.

A lot of people arrive at this question already tired.

They know something needs to change, but they’re not sure where to start. Therapy can feel like it might go too deep. Coaching can feel like it might be too action-focused. And somewhere in the middle, there’s the quiet worry of choosing the “wrong” path.

I’m Geri Lopez. I’m a clinical trauma and attachment based therapist. And I’m also a burnout life coach.